At Last!!!!!!!

Great news!!!! Sam has finished his chemo treatments!!!!! He has a follow up appointment next month for a blood test, but YAY! NO MORE CHEMO!!!! (Which means G and I might finally start making a dent in those chemo payments!!!!! Another YAY!!!!!)

Sam was so excited that he wanted to bake a cake for Dr. Kelly and her staff. He wanted to make it liver flavored, but I stepped in and baked a lovely yellow cake with buttercream frosting. In the shape of a heart. With mint and dark chocolate chips around it. It was beautiful:

Doesn't that look delicious? G took in it on Monday when Sam had his last treatment and (from what I hear) it was a hit. We are so very grateful to Dr. Kelly and her staff for saving Sam!!! He loves them just as much as we do!!!

Here is Sam with Dr. Kelly. She never fails to get a doggie smile and tail wags. Sometimes he even bays at her! How many vets can say their clients are that happy to see them????

And here are a couple shots of him because I love him so much -- see his yellow bandanna? It says "I took a BITE out of cancer." Yellow is most definitely his color!!!!!

There are a few more, but I am trying REALLY hard not to be a crazy beagle momma. And really? Now that he is done with chemo and has a clean bill of health, this can revert to its original purpose -- a blog about our life together (you know, me, G, Sam, Dixie, Noelle, Patriot, Divot and Diesel).

In that vein, most of you know I have been battling chronic sinus infections for about 2.5 years now. Well, tomorrow that starts to come to an end!!!! I am having a septoplasty and turbinectomy tomorrow and hopefully in a few weeks I will be able to breath out of my nose and the crud that is in my sinuses will drain out taking the chronic infections with it!!!!! FINALLY my life will not be centered around my health! I can concentrate on finishing my pilot license and learning to jump horses!! (Nothing like some high-impact sports right after surgery!) Hopefully I will also be able to start going to the gym again and I can lose some of the flab I am carrying around. Working out seemed to irritate my sinuses so I kept getting sicker and sicker -- haven't been to the gym since AUGUST and I am (strange to say) anxious to get back!!!!!

So that is what is going on this week. As I am off work for the next few weeks I will try to keep this updated. Given the fact I have a brand new bottle of Percocet, the posts might be pretty entertaining!!!!!!

One more pic -- soon I hope to be doing this again!!!!!!! I have not been getting NEAR enough flight or saddle time to make me even close to being easy to live with!!!!!

(Yes that is me and yes, I have 24 million BTUs in my hot little hands!!!! Talk about firepower!)

Photo credit for the balloon photo goes to Alexa Hoffman All the others were taken by G and me.

No News Really IS Good News!

I have been so remiss in updating this blog -- it is disgraceful! However, since I started this blog to help me cope with what I was certain were going to be some very dark days, the lack of updating is actually a good thing!

Sam is doing GREAT. He has finished his every-other-week chemo treatments and has graduated to maintenance treatments once a month. He no longer has to have the dreaded IV chemo that ruins his appetite and makes me sure he is on death's doorstep. Instead he gets the pill form (really, human oncology needs to take lessons here) and just has to have blood work to check on his white blood cell (WBC) count. This is great news!

Dr. Kelly (the oncologist) says he is doing great. At his last appointment she said if she did not know Sam, she would never even know he had cancer. There is no sign of lymphoma ANYWHERE in his physical exam or his blood work.

Sam of course, does not know the difference, but G and I sure do! He is acting younger than he has acted in years and runs around the house like a puppy. He loves to go to Dr. Kelly's office and bays when he sees his favorite nurses (Amy and Garret). The first day I met with the oncologist, Dr. Kelly told me that doggie chemo was nothing like what I was thinking. After having dear friends go through chemo for breast cancer, I thought I was going to have a sick puppy that was going to lose his hair. When she said they jokingly called what they gave "youth serum" I thought they were just trying to make me feel better about what I thought was going to be torturing my dog. They told me eventually Sam would LOVE to come to see them because they made it such a pleasant experience. For obvious reasons, I thought they were lying. Seriously? A dog LIKING to go to the vet? And not only that, a dog LIKING to get poison injected into its veins?

Not so, not so at all. They were so right. Sam loves to go there! He doesn't shake or whine at all!. In fact, he has gotten so he jumps out of the car when we get there and starts baying when he walks in the door. He really gets going when he sees Amy and Garrett (his favorite nurses)! They spoil him rotten -- G says it is like having a rock star for a dog. They actually pre-soak crunchy dog biscuits in water so he can chew them easier! Although I think he always hopes they forget because then he gets canned dog food served to him in a dish by Miss Amy. I think he knows she has a soft spot for hound dogs named Sam -- she lost her basset to cancer and the experience of working through that with Dr. Kelly as her oncologist inspired her to go to vet tech school and now she works for Dr. Kelly! Sam loves her.

This is such a relief for G and I. We were convinced when EVIL DR. PARK AT SUN RANCH VET IN LOS LUNAS misdiagnosed him that we were too late to save him. Now we have a beagle that acts much younger than his 14 years and are looking for another one to add to our family.

I am so grateful that this has all worked out for the best. I was terrified back in August when we finally got a correct diagnosis. I thought he certainly was not going to make it to Halloween, let alone to see his 14th birthday and ring in 2010 with us! We are so blessed and lucky to still have our Sam with us. I think he is going to love having a puppy to train! Maybe soon I will turn this back into a blog about G and I ... but I sure do love talking about Sam. I will have to get him to pose for some pictures soon ...

Heartbreaking Good News -- Literally

Well, as you know, today was The Big Day. Sam and I went to the oncologist to see what she had to say. She and her staff were great -- very nice, professional and COMPASSIONATE. That, to me, was the most important thing. I need to be talked to like the worried beagle mom I am, not someone that doesn't have a clue as to what is going on with my dog.

I won't get into the particulars of what happened -- they ran a lot of tests and drew some blood. We discussed his diet and what I need to do to help him fight the cancer. Spoiled baby, he is going to be getting home-cooked meals! (And some specialty dog food.)

So, the diagnosis? Stage 3 lymphoma. The easiest cancer to treat, provided it is caught in time, which Sam's has been. That is really great news! I was super happy to hear that, along with the fact that veterinary chemotherapy is MUCH easier on the body than human. There is no hair loss and hardly any nausea. It just makes them feel better.

So, I should be delirious, right? This post should be all about how happy I am that my baby is going to live forever and be happy. I should be dancing around, screaming my joy from the rooftops, right????

See, that is the thing. Chemo is not free. It is not even close to free. And that means that Grant and I have a horrible decision to make. The treatment, at the low end, for 16 chemo sessions and all that comes with it, costs 4700.00 (before taxes). At the high end, it is 5700 (again, before taxes). So, do we spend the money and go into debt and save him for a year and a half (maybe more) or do we make what he has left the best it can be for as long as we can? I am at a loss. I just don't know what to do. I don't want him to be in pain, but I also don't know that we can afford the treatments, even at the low end of the spectrum. This is breaking my heart. I have the chance to save him, but at what cost? And if we do the chemo, how much time does that buy us? A year? Maybe more? He is 13 (14 in December) and the typical beagle lift span is only 10-15 years. So where does that leave us? What do we do? I have spent the whole day trying to figure out what I do and how I justify the decision. How can I make that choice for him? How do I know what he would want me to do?

So that is where we stand right now. Stuck between a rock and a hard place -- if ANYONE has a suggestion as to what they think, please let me know. I am too heartsick to think about it anymore tonight.

Small update, but an update nonetheless

First, thank you everyone for your wonderful thoughts and prayers for Sam. I told him today how many people were pulling for him and wanting him to fight. He just wanted to know how many cookies a day having cancer gets you. Turns out, 3 plus whatever Grandma gives him during the day.

I spoke with the oncologist office today and was pretty impressed. (http://www.vetcancercare.com/) He has an appointment on Monday (August 31) for his initial exam. The receptionist was very nice, called me by name and told me what to expect. The oncologist (Dr. Kelly) will take blood, look at the X-rays and just generally do a thorough exam. We will talk about what to expect and how to approach Sam's illness. They customize treatments for each individual animal, which I think is great.

In other news, Grant and I before Sam got sick started looking for a second beagle. We started at the New Mexico Beagle Rescue (http://www.newmexicobeaglerescue.org/) and found a few we are interested in. We decided to continue with the adoption process since there are SO many beagles out there that need a home AND we know that sometimes a younger dog can give an older dog a new lease on life. Which, of course, we are hoping for. Today Grant found one at the Valencia County Shelter that looks promising. He left a message for them today and will try again tomorrow. Wish us luck!!!!!

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers -- I need all the moral support (and Valium!) I can get.

Sam .. the first of many I am sure

As I type this tonight, my beloved beagle is at my feet. Curled up on a red fleece blanked put under my desk just for him. Every night when I check my email, farm on facebook and generally peruse the wonder that is the Internet, Sam is there. Snoring away, making little beagle sleeping noises.

Sam did not start out as my dog. No, we only met a few years ago (incidentally, that coincides with me meeting Grant). Grant got Sam as a puppy and raised him to be his bird dog. According to Grant, Sam loved being a bird dog until he got a mouth infection and was forced into retirement. Which, by the way, suits him well.

I met Sam the first time I went to Grant's house and it was love at first sight. I had a beagle for about 2 days when I was 5, but she nipped me on the nose and my parents gave her away. I always wanted another one and, as luck would have it, one fell into my lap.

From then on whenever Grant came to visit, Sam would come with him. Whenever I was down visiting, I had Sam with me, much to the chagrin of his then-roommate (not a dog lover by any stretch of the imagination).

Fast forward a year or so and Grant and I are living together. Sam has become my constant companion and I am rarely without him. He sleeps in bed next to me at night and on weekends can be found riding shotgun and going through the drive-thru at McDonald's for ice cream. He is more my dog now that Grant's. Not that he minds because what makes me happy makes him happy. Sam sits in my lap every night, he was sitting in the kitchen when we got engaged. Every time I am sick, he curls up next to me and won't let me out of his sight.

We have a new house now, one with a second story. Sam, being 13, has some trouble with the stairs, but still refuses to let me out of his sight. If I go upstairs, even for a minute, he follows me. Although he is on to me now and sometimes only goes up halfway until he is sure I am going to stay awhile.

A few months ago, Sam started coughing. I noticed his glands were a little swollen so I took him to the vet. She diagnosed him with allergies and when I asked for a chest X-ray told me it was unnecessary. She noticed some growths on his belly and asked me to bring him back for a checkup. I did, and she decided he had skin cancer from sunning his belly. Totally a beagle thing. She did an X-ray, but only of his belly. She still did not think he needed one of his chest -- it was just allergies after all. She operated on him and removed a tumor from his belly, reminding me to give him his allergy pills so he didn't cough and tear his stitches.

Fast forward 10 days and we are back at the vet for stitch removal. I am still asking her to check his glands (still swollen) and his cough. Nope, allergies. I start calling her office and the staff says the same thing -- and they are rude. I started searching for a new vet as his cough got worse. Finally I found one I liked and took my darling beagle in, terrified that he had bronchitis.

As I sat in the exam room waiting for him to be X-rayed I prayed to God to let him be alright. To not be sick. I prayed as hard as I could that he would just have a cough. I tried not to think about the fact that his glands were swollen and the doctor could not hear his heart beat because his lungs were so noisy. I sat in that room for 45 minutes praying that my baby would be OK and that I had not spent too much time trying to get Dr. Park to listen to me.

Sadly, Dr. Thompson told me that Sam has cancer. Specifically, he has lymphoma. He has 8 tumors on his lymph nodes, which on dogs are in their throat. That is why he is coughing. That is why his breath was sounding labored. I asked him how this happened, how this was missed and he had nothing to tell me other than it shouldn't have been.

So now we are going to see a veterinary oncologist to see if there is anything we can do. We are not going to go to extraordinary measures for him -- we just want to keep him comfortable and happy for as long as we can.

I am heartbroken. Devastated. I can't look at him or think of him without crying. I am hoping that, writing being as therapeutic as it is for me, blogging about this will keep me sane. I am going to chronicle our journey in the hopes that it brings to light the fact that vets, even with all of their schooling, should listen to their patients. Sometimes, even a dog mother's intuition is better than all the schooling in the world.

That being said, I am going to fight for Sam and do everything I can to make him feel better. I am also going to do everything I can to make sure EVERYONE knows that Dr. Park at Sun Ranch Pet Hospital in Los Lunas does not listen to her clients, works on her own agenda, allows her staff to be rude to her clients and does not know that swollen glands and a cough are NEVER symptoms of canine allergies. I have a vendetta and I WILL do all I can to make her malpractice and lack of compassion known.